Yeah…No: Michael Phelps’ Facial Hair

Does Michael think that ridiculous mustache will distract people from looking at his jank teeth? Okay, I know I’m really hard on the National Treasure that is Michael Phelps but he looks like he’s going to appear in a revival of Deep Throat, soon to be followed by another revival of Debby Does Dallas.

That mustache is just drawing attention to his really messed up teeth. He needs to learn to draw attention away from his face. Suggestions: Nipple rings, or really low cut Speedos. This will draw the eye down and away from the fug mug.

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